It had started fifteen minutes earlier. A customer, let's call him Jeff, had gone from customer to problem customer to super-idiot problem in a flash. Might has well have given Jeff a cape and a tights because he changed like Superman in a phone booth. It fades whatever he did to get asked to leave the bar. It had to be something big and loud because this was Friday night at Lyon's Pub in the summer. It was still light outside but it was late enough that the Pub was transitioning from laid back afternoon hangout to Friday night dance club meat market. Lumpy was on the DJ board and I was behind the bar with two other bartenders.
Jeff did something. He swore at somebody. Or he touched someone wrong. Servers, rightly, do not tolerate being manhandled. It was enough that we had a bouncer come over and ask him to leave. Jeff argued a bit but not much. His friend helped convince him to leave. It's in the parking lot that super-hero jerk face appeared.
Jeff decided to make his stand in the middle of the Lyons Pub parking lot. He just stopped in the middle of the lot and refused to get into his friend's car. He started yelling.
He yelled about his rights.
He yelled about us being assholes.
He yelled at people going into Lyons Pub that they shouldn't.
No one cared. Except for his friend who was really trying to get Jeff into the car. We only cared because Jeff was blocking the parking lot. And really noisy. It was too light outside, being summer and all, for us to carry him into the bushes. So we had no choice-- we called Johnny Law.
The beat cops, Officer Ron and Officer Jon, were there in seconds. They were pretty relaxed. It was summer. It was nice. They had a good job that night. They just had to wander Grand Ave and keep trouble at bay which they accomplished by just being there and talking to waitresses and the cuter customers. They really did not want deal with this. Ramsey County lock-up is not nearly as attractive on a June night as Grand Ave.
Officer Jon stood to the side. Officer Ron tried to talk Jeff down. He asked Jeff to get in his friends car. He explained that if he got in the car and left everything would be forgotten. He encouraged Jeff to get in the car and drive away.
Jeff just kept going. It was free speech this and the bar was wrong that and no one could make him leave that this was America.
Officer Ron explained private property and leaving quietly. He asked Jeff to leave three times. Then he gave his last warning. It was really gentle in the face of super-idiot problem Jeff.
"I'm going to give you one more chance to get in your friends car and leave here," said Officer Ron.
Jeff yelled some more. He screamed about God and country, the founding fathers and the bill of rights.
Ron gave some kind of super secret signal to Officer Jon. A signal that indicates we are moving away from beauty to something uglier but we appear to have no choice . Officer Jon, all 6'5'' work-out buffness of him, did one of those fast cop moves wherein Jeff went from super-idiot to super-apologetic idiot cuffed face down on the front of a squad car.
"I'll leave now," Jeff said. Very meekly and not so loud.
"Once we touch you we have to write a report. And if we have to write a report you're going to detox," said Officer Ron.
Off Jeff went to spend a beautiful June weekend in Ramsey Detox. Hope he enjoyed his grilled cheese.
Jeff did one, relatively, small dumb thing. Then he rolled the multiplier dice. Whatever he did in the bar, I cannot remeber what it was (although jeff probably can), it was dumb. But it was small dumb. He was asked to leave the bar. He was not touched. The police were not involved. He could have left and it all would have been forgotten. In the parking lot, even after officers Ron and Jon arrived, Jeff was given the option to leave. He didn't. He let one small bad choice roll into a huge mistake.
Life is like that for all of us. We all do dumb things. It's just the nature of being human. Some we do through carelessness, some we do through thoughtlessness, some through laziness and some maybe just cause. But almost always we have the choice to make it better or make it worse. The quality of our life is directly related to how often we decide to make it better.
Often times it as simple as walking away when someone asks us to leave. How many disagreements would de-escalate with just a little space and time; some room to breathe and really think about we are saying or doing. Some time to get our ego out of the way.
I can hear my wife nodding her head and yelling "Yes" right now.
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